Why The Tznius? -Response to a Frustrated Frum Young Lady

Frustration:
"Why must the jewish woman make herself less attractive than the average female?.......wouldn’t we rather our men look at US rather than at women outside of the faith?" (paraphrased)

The Way I see it:
To be content, a woman needs to feel loved and depends on emotional support from her spouse. Genuine emotional support can come only from one with whom you share reciprocal love, not from one with whom you are in love (and who is in love with you).

So what's the difference? The evolution from being in love to actually loving is enormously dependant on mutual respect. In short: to recieve the support she needs to feel satisfied, a woman must be respected by her spouse. She requires not that her husband like her body, but that he respect and love HER; inclusive of her mind, her soul, and yes -her body.

Whilst a man may be quicker to glance fleetingly at a scantily clad thing with a nice shape and attractive hair, to respect a woman he must recognise her as just that. A woman. By drawing a man's eyes to her body, a woman distracts him from being able to get to know HER, and makes it harder for him to truly love her. In fact, a man's respect for a woman dramatically enhances her aesthetic appeal to him, so that a woman whom one didn't initially find attractive can with enough respect, become exceedingly beautiful. This respect particularly for frum men, is facilitated by modesty.

Of course your husband should look at you, but consider this: Would you prefer he looked at you with adoration and longing borne of true love and respect, or with panting desire born of his lust for your body? The dsire borne of lust is transient, however the emotional connection and longing borne of true love is like wine. It just keeps getting stronger and better.