What's the big deal about talking anyway?

Query:
"...why is it that guys cant talk to girls before marraige (and girls to guys?). i understand you think that touching is an act of intamacy, etc, which i guess does make sence - but why not just talking? (p.s. im not religious, and trying to understand)"

Response:
Biologically, the sole purpose of any individual organism is to ensure the continuation of its species, and every organism has been endowed with particular instincts and mechanisms that enable it to fulfill this role. In the animal kingdom, nutrition is ensured by the discomfort experienced during hunger, respiration by the pain of suffocation, and the list goes on. One does not actually experience a desire for nutrients when hungry or the need for oxygen when suffocating, merely the desire to eat or to breathe. Likewise, all animals experience an urge to engage in activities associated with the continuation of their species i.e. procreation, and because the need to reproduce if the most biologically fundamental, the urge to engage in the associated activities reigns supreme.

Being intellectual animals and creatures of imagination, humans have a tendency to take the basic natural urges that all animals have far beyond the limits required by the basic biological functions that they serve. The desire to eat to satisfy hunger is exaggerated supporting a multi-billion dollar (biologically unnecessary) culinary industry, and the need to defend oneself against predators has been grossly distorted, resulting in wars the likes of which are unheard of outside of the human species. Likewise, the extent to which the human mind can extrapolate the desire to engage in procreative activity is virtually endless.

Such activity (reproductive) is not only allowed but is encouraged in Judaism, and raising a family is a fundamental element is service of G-d. However as with all activities, there are guidelines. The observance of not only monogamy but extra-marital celibacy is paramount in Judaism, and whilst encouraged, procreative activity must take place within the boundaries of marriage. Being so, and being that it is an intrinsic element of man’s constitution that he has an colossal weakness for woman (and vice versa), it is important that individuals of opposite genders avoid at all costs, any scenario that might create temptation for unsanctioned physical interaction.

So why can’t we talk???

A wise man once said:
If a man and a woman are together in a scenario where they could potentially engage in carnal activity and nothing – not even a flash of such thought passes through either of their heads at all, then there is a serious problem.
(-I’m not sure of the original source of the statement, but it is certainly on the mark)

Essentially there is nothing wrong with talking to individuals of the opposite gender, and certainly not with politely greeting one another or stopping to help with directions (etc.). However if two such individuals do have a relationship on a person level, the likelihood that neither will ever experience any form of imagined carnal thought whatsoever –even be it completely unrealistic, is extremely slim.

Indeed the majority of such thoughts when they do occur do not result in subsequent action. However due to the extent of the natural urge and the resulting temptation, as well as the importance of the prohibition, extra-marital inter-gender relationships on a personal level are strongly discouraged.

This issue is relevant both for single and married individuals However it is often emphasized more for those who are single; as being unmarried, their only acceptable response to such temptation is complete and total self-control. To successfully exercise this degree self-control consistently in the face of such temptation would be an immense challenge, and the realistic probability of a prohibition being transgressed by a single individual is far greater