Non/Jewish Music: So What's The Bass Line?

The decision one makes in terms of their choice of music has significant ramifications both spiritually and emotionally (the two of which need not be mutually exclusive).

There are two elements in music both of which are crucial in terms of the message that the music provides. The lyrics of a song can be an extremely potent tool (or weapon), and can get into one's head even if no conscious attention is paid to them when the song is heard. The rest of the song (the music), including the rhythm, melody, and tempo, can also have an extraordinary effect on the listener irrespective of the lyrical content. Thus, a musical piece may have no words but still be perfectly capable of raising one's spirits, or of reducing him/her to tears. With or without words, the right music may be used as an extremely productive tool, as a source of support to help one remain 'on track' emotiono-spiritually (excuse my spontaneous linguistical creation, but I want to emphasise the fact that the two can be intertwined, particularly regarding the issue at hand).

Conversely, music whose message is not conducive to spiritual advancement (or at least to providing the support one needs to help maintain a certain standard in spite of the daily struggle against the surrounding environment), can serve as a catastrophically deleterious influence, and take an extensive toll one's overall state of mind. Surely we face sufficient challenges without adding non-jewish music to increase the gradient of the hill we are trying to fight our way up. In fact, I would go so far as to suggest that deliberate selection of music may sufficiently reduce the gradient of the battle to make it downhill.

In the Ma'amer Lefichach Nikre'u.... (Tof Shin Tes Zayin) concerning one who finds it difficult to achieve emotional involvement in avoidas Hashem, the Rebbe provides solutions that may be used to resurrect a hardened heart. HOWEVER, successful execution of these solutions demands as a prerequisite that one's intellect be finely in tune with G-dliness. If one's intellect is also out of whack, then the previously listed methods of repair are useless, and the only solution is Kaf Hakeleh -the ultimate punishment, when one's spirit is subjected to literally excruciating torture.

The Rebbe then goes on to say that this de-railment of one's intellect that automatically causes hardening of the heart and whose only resolution can be through torture, is a direct result of one's over-involvement in ta'avos -matters of physical pleasure. This is true, and I quote "even (of) ta'avos that are permitted," and "even once one has ceased to be involved in the ta'avos" the effect continues to linger.

In the context of the ma'amer this applies to all ta'avos in general. Clearly now, the consequences of listening to goyish music -the king of all deleteriously influential permissible ta'avos, are wholly undesireable.

Why The Tznius? -Response to a Frustrated Frum Young Lady

Frustration:
"Why must the jewish woman make herself less attractive than the average female?.......wouldn’t we rather our men look at US rather than at women outside of the faith?" (paraphrased)

The Way I see it:
To be content, a woman needs to feel loved and depends on emotional support from her spouse. Genuine emotional support can come only from one with whom you share reciprocal love, not from one with whom you are in love (and who is in love with you).

So what's the difference? The evolution from being in love to actually loving is enormously dependant on mutual respect. In short: to recieve the support she needs to feel satisfied, a woman must be respected by her spouse. She requires not that her husband like her body, but that he respect and love HER; inclusive of her mind, her soul, and yes -her body.

Whilst a man may be quicker to glance fleetingly at a scantily clad thing with a nice shape and attractive hair, to respect a woman he must recognise her as just that. A woman. By drawing a man's eyes to her body, a woman distracts him from being able to get to know HER, and makes it harder for him to truly love her. In fact, a man's respect for a woman dramatically enhances her aesthetic appeal to him, so that a woman whom one didn't initially find attractive can with enough respect, become exceedingly beautiful. This respect particularly for frum men, is facilitated by modesty.

Of course your husband should look at you, but consider this: Would you prefer he looked at you with adoration and longing borne of true love and respect, or with panting desire born of his lust for your body? The dsire borne of lust is transient, however the emotional connection and longing borne of true love is like wine. It just keeps getting stronger and better.